This paragraph deserves to be sent into space----recorded on "Golden Records like Voyager I--- so that beings on other planets and in other galaxies get the supreme thrill of reading it like I just did--------------"Did you know that as soon as somebody is referred to as a “wife” and not a “girlfriend” she is immediately perceived as less attractive and more “naggy”? I kid you not, there’s a study on this — and it’s a perfect example of the way that hetero-patriarchy isn’t limited to straight women; gay “wives” are perceived as nags, too. I’ll be a forever gf, thx."
I'm a bisexual woman married to a pansexual man, so although it's straight-passing it is still a queer relationship to an extent. I'd love to see research on how being queer impacts the aspects of gendered expectations in a female-male relationship. We are deliriously happy and have the sense of "getting it right" and how much of that is our queer identities or just self-delusion?
I am a contented heterosexual male. This makes me part of the massively dominant sexuality group among humans, not the default , the majority. I have the strong impression that you are mixing up the inherent sexuality that I was born with and the social expectations and structures that have developed with respect to that sexuality. Social behavior models linked to sexuality are constructions and should be critically examined. There is no doubt that they the source of considerable damage and need urgent revision. Heterosexuality, or any of the wonderful variety of innate human sexuality cannot be a prison, it is not a construct.
I feel the risk is emphasizing the abnormality of heterosexyal deviations (and there are quite a few) to the point where homosexual models see themselves as a more acceptable and honest. While I think focussing on a model without evaluating it against an external one is in theory the best approach there is, when sexual behaviour enters the picture, it all gets so damn intertwined.
Yes, I think Paulo is exactly right. A key principle of ethnography is to begin without judgement (to the extent that’s humanly possible); to observe an aspect of culture with a generous and open mind and then to develop assumptions and analysis based on that observation. To begin an inquiry into heterosexuality (a cultural institution that I agree is long overdue for systematic study!) with the assumption that it is damaging and deviant and to focus on finding evidence that corroborates that conclusion is obviously going to skew what one sees.
Hi Jess, I ‘ve been thinking of you and wondering where you’ve landed. This old hetero is fine, still hanging out in Coopersburg, still making good trouble. Paul’s good. We’re married a shocking 45 years. Conor, Sara’s brother, is now Connie, Sara’s sister. Life just keeps moving, we just keep changing and watching. Hugs
Your article gave me the best laugh that I have had in a while due to the ridiculous garbage that you spewed. As a real woman, normal heterosexual, natural born I found what you spouted as facts to be great fantasy as you dissed real women. You r survey sample must’ve been a very small sample because the majority of my friends would disagree with what you wrote. Yes, there are times we think our husbands are pains in the backside and should do more, but that doesn’t make them terrible people. My husband was a very attentive father. He is very helpful in taking care of the house and doing chores without being nagged, and I have many friends who have husbands who are the same.
Your article makes men sound like they’re complete morons and idiots which speaks more about you than it does about men. Obviously, you’ve had bad relationships with men. There are good men out there who are not like you describe. I have a son that is extremely caring. He does the dishes, he helps take care of the house. He’s looking forward to becoming a father and being actively involved in his children’s lives. He personally believes that you should hand wash the dishes, but because his wife likes to use the dishwasher, he bought a new one because theirs did not work. He listens and is attentive to his wife’s needs.
What you describe in your article sounds like self-centered narcissistic children, which is what the younger generation is today believe me I know I was a high school teacher. This is a result of the brainwashing of the government and grooming by the people who are trying to destroy our society. What we truly need is to bring God back into the home and the schools. Children need to be raised with discipline, chores, expectations that they will have to work hard and that they’re not going to start out at a six figure job.That is a huge part of the problem. Children have been pampered, spoiled, and raised to think that they are the center of the world and everyone should cater to them. This all started with the give everyone a trophy garbage and unless society wakes up instead of being so “woke” we will continue to disintegrate. It’s people like you and Jane Ward who are the problem in society because you’re spouting this garbage, and brainwashing people into believing it.
Hi Jess, I’ve been listening to reruns of the popular NPR show Car Talk recently, and while it is hilarious it also reeks of hetero male culture. Two men exchange humorous often juvenile humor and advise women and men on male culture associated with gasoline powered vehicles.
I also think that Herero culture is in trouble when the surgeon general has to issue a warning about how American parenting techniques are bad for parents. Forget the kids, the parents are not all right!
This paragraph deserves to be sent into space----recorded on "Golden Records like Voyager I--- so that beings on other planets and in other galaxies get the supreme thrill of reading it like I just did--------------"Did you know that as soon as somebody is referred to as a “wife” and not a “girlfriend” she is immediately perceived as less attractive and more “naggy”? I kid you not, there’s a study on this — and it’s a perfect example of the way that hetero-patriarchy isn’t limited to straight women; gay “wives” are perceived as nags, too. I’ll be a forever gf, thx."
I'm a bisexual woman married to a pansexual man, so although it's straight-passing it is still a queer relationship to an extent. I'd love to see research on how being queer impacts the aspects of gendered expectations in a female-male relationship. We are deliriously happy and have the sense of "getting it right" and how much of that is our queer identities or just self-delusion?
Hello,
I am a contented heterosexual male. This makes me part of the massively dominant sexuality group among humans, not the default , the majority. I have the strong impression that you are mixing up the inherent sexuality that I was born with and the social expectations and structures that have developed with respect to that sexuality. Social behavior models linked to sexuality are constructions and should be critically examined. There is no doubt that they the source of considerable damage and need urgent revision. Heterosexuality, or any of the wonderful variety of innate human sexuality cannot be a prison, it is not a construct.
Thanks. It's tough being whatever one us.
And it sure would be nice to be able to EDIT a comment!
I feel the risk is emphasizing the abnormality of heterosexyal deviations (and there are quite a few) to the point where homosexual models see themselves as a more acceptable and honest. While I think focussing on a model without evaluating it against an external one is in theory the best approach there is, when sexual behaviour enters the picture, it all gets so damn intertwined.
Yes, I think Paulo is exactly right. A key principle of ethnography is to begin without judgement (to the extent that’s humanly possible); to observe an aspect of culture with a generous and open mind and then to develop assumptions and analysis based on that observation. To begin an inquiry into heterosexuality (a cultural institution that I agree is long overdue for systematic study!) with the assumption that it is damaging and deviant and to focus on finding evidence that corroborates that conclusion is obviously going to skew what one sees.
Hi Jess, I ‘ve been thinking of you and wondering where you’ve landed. This old hetero is fine, still hanging out in Coopersburg, still making good trouble. Paul’s good. We’re married a shocking 45 years. Conor, Sara’s brother, is now Connie, Sara’s sister. Life just keeps moving, we just keep changing and watching. Hugs
Bless your heart !
Your article gave me the best laugh that I have had in a while due to the ridiculous garbage that you spewed. As a real woman, normal heterosexual, natural born I found what you spouted as facts to be great fantasy as you dissed real women. You r survey sample must’ve been a very small sample because the majority of my friends would disagree with what you wrote. Yes, there are times we think our husbands are pains in the backside and should do more, but that doesn’t make them terrible people. My husband was a very attentive father. He is very helpful in taking care of the house and doing chores without being nagged, and I have many friends who have husbands who are the same.
Your article makes men sound like they’re complete morons and idiots which speaks more about you than it does about men. Obviously, you’ve had bad relationships with men. There are good men out there who are not like you describe. I have a son that is extremely caring. He does the dishes, he helps take care of the house. He’s looking forward to becoming a father and being actively involved in his children’s lives. He personally believes that you should hand wash the dishes, but because his wife likes to use the dishwasher, he bought a new one because theirs did not work. He listens and is attentive to his wife’s needs.
What you describe in your article sounds like self-centered narcissistic children, which is what the younger generation is today believe me I know I was a high school teacher. This is a result of the brainwashing of the government and grooming by the people who are trying to destroy our society. What we truly need is to bring God back into the home and the schools. Children need to be raised with discipline, chores, expectations that they will have to work hard and that they’re not going to start out at a six figure job.That is a huge part of the problem. Children have been pampered, spoiled, and raised to think that they are the center of the world and everyone should cater to them. This all started with the give everyone a trophy garbage and unless society wakes up instead of being so “woke” we will continue to disintegrate. It’s people like you and Jane Ward who are the problem in society because you’re spouting this garbage, and brainwashing people into believing it.
Hi Jess, I’ve been listening to reruns of the popular NPR show Car Talk recently, and while it is hilarious it also reeks of hetero male culture. Two men exchange humorous often juvenile humor and advise women and men on male culture associated with gasoline powered vehicles.
I also think that Herero culture is in trouble when the surgeon general has to issue a warning about how American parenting techniques are bad for parents. Forget the kids, the parents are not all right!
LFG on this book!
That BRO ring blinded me!
We should create a fellowship, and go to the mountains of Doom to destroy it.
Thank you Jessica. Your article has left me feeling less odd.
I’ve been celebrate for years and it’s been like getting out of prison. It’s actually a relief.
Thank you (and Professor Ward) for this great article.
Theresa Tredwell