Wait, am I a good person?
The question everybody is asking Google.
This edition of Wait, Really? is written by Sienna Estrada, a recent graduate of the journalism master’s program at NYU and a former student of mine. You can find more of Sienna’s work on her Substack, “But I Digress…” Read on for what else I’m thinking about below. — Jessica
It was a Saturday night in early September, and I was alone in my Brooklyn apartment, feeling a bit dejected about… well, everything. I had no plans that night, like many Saturday nights before. I had no significant other, and few prospects. I was graduating in three months with no job offers, and when I opened my email in an effort to distract myself, I received the following: “We have carefully considered your application, and at this time, unfortunately…” I didn’t finish reading.
Slumped in bed, eating the same meal for the fourth night that week, I opened Hinge, the dating app, hoping to find someone to connect with. But it seemed that all my “matches” had moved on. When I called up a friend to vent, she turned the call around — she was mad at me for forgetting to do the favor she’d asked. I apologized glumly, hung up, and suddenly found myself Googling the following words in silence: “Am I a good person?”
I don’t know what I really expected the internet to tell me, but I clicked on a quiz from a website called BlockSurvey that asked: When you’re standing in line at a coffee shop what do you usually do? The choices were A) Stare at the phone until the cashier calls you and then figure out what you want or B) Figure out what you want and get your method of payment ready.
I closed my computer and zoned out to some sad girl music on my AirPods.
Turns out, I am far from the only person to ask the internet this question. In fact, this question led me down something of a rabbit hole: to lengthy forums on Reddit and Quora debating the question; personality quizzes claiming to be able to teach you to be better; and a plethora of “articles” from websites typically trying to sell you something, assuring you you're better than you think you are through signs like:
You’re honest
You’re optimistic
You’re wise
(But how would they know?)
And then, the statistic that stopped me in my tracks: According to Google Trends, the number of searches for “Am I a good person?” in the United States has been increasing since about 2010. In November 2023, two months after I first typed in the phrase, it reached peak popularity.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised; people have been questioning their morality since the dawn of time. But what was it about now that seemed to have caused the question to peak?
What Else I’m Chewing On:
Before Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese, there were the women of Rutgers. Back in 2007, the Rutgers women’s basketball team was making waves and shattering records — until a shock jock radio host dragged them into a national spectacle with a racist tirade. In the latest episode of my podcast, In Retrospect, we revisit the women of Rutgers basketball, who ignited a much-needed conversation about racism, sexism and women’s sports.
The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex. This is the kind of headline that tends to makes my eyes roll — “trend” is loaded, “sex” is clickbait, and more often than not, the data is weak. But that is not the case when Peggy Orenstein is writing, and this story had my mouth literally agape. Orenstein reports on a leading sex researcher, who has been tracking the sexual habits of college students, noting a dramatic rise in “rough sex” — in particular, choking. Peggy writes that she’d been observing this anecdotally for some time: On screen, in shows like Euphoria and the Idol; online, with #chokemedaddy memes, and in real life, where teenage girls would come up to her after talks and ask, “How come boys all want to choke you?” Now, the researcher has found that nearly two-thirds of college women had been choked by a partner, and those who were between 12 and 17 the first time that happened shot up to 40 percent. Just read it.
Trump v Stormy: Trumps heads to court next week in his long-awaited hush money trial, where Stormy Daniels may testify. Looking for a primer? Check out “Stormy” on Peacock, a documentary about the whole ordeal from the perspective of Daniels. The scene that stuck with me: Stormy, in a hotel room, receiving a call from her ex-husband about their daughter’s straight-A report card. Stormy breaks down. “I should be there with her,” she says to the camera, crying. “But instead I’m here, talking about an ex-president’s penis.”
Show Me Your Man Cave. ICYMI: I’m looking for people (men! women! queers! anyone!) who has what they might call a “man cave” (for city dwellers: man corner? man closet?) and wants to talk about it.
Thanks for reading!