The internet is the perfect example of the vice/virtue phenomenon in which an object's biggest virtue is also its biggest vice. The internet provided a space where anyone could talk about their experience as a human being, good or bad (virtue). However, this allowed mass amounts of people to talk about their very real hardships in a space where absolutely anyone could read them (vice). Take a population of people (adolescent teen girls) who are prone to: depressive symptoms, rumination, and an urge to assimilate and you have the perfect recipe to create a generation of young women who have influenced one another towards the most painful of human impulses.
This hit me right in the feels. I wrote my own book about "girlhood" as I experienced it in 2021 and it made me so sad at the time. I felt like I understood myself better after, having relived my own story with 30-year-old eyes. I got to see the fear and anxiety and tendency to be so negative as it was being stoked inside of me. I found myself grateful to be a woman raising sons in this world, because the adolescence of a women in this world is so frightening.
All of this to say, I think this rise in the celebration of girlhood is a way to (re)define our pasts. (Our being adult women.) To take our daughters to see Taylor Swift in concert is a way to fulfill an ache within ourselves we don't want our daughters to have. It is a way to have the girlhood we wanted, of sparkles, and women idols, and self-confidence, to counteract watching Bridget Jones with our own mothers, who were always on a diet, and being told the woman we were seeing was "fat" or less than. I remember wondering why my mom had Kate Moss's quote, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels," and not understanding why we were served chicken pot pie and roasts at every meal for my dad and brother when we just wanted a salad or a flat bread. I feel as though girl dinners are a way to indulge in what we want to eat, without needing to impress men.
I am on a tangent now, but thank you for writing this piece. It has provided me with a lot of food for thought.
💯. The dawn of social media and being a “brand” instead of being a human being and having meaningful face-to-face interactions with other humans absolutely contributes to what girls are struggling with today. It’s a construct, breaking girls spirits out of the gate, setting them up to fail. And for what? Greed. I am so grateful to be a Gen-X-er that had a childhood with no cell phones and no social media, skinned knees and all. It was glorious and taught me to be resourceful and kind because you had to interact with others in-person. Social media has created an environment to shiv someone in an instant without consequences. Most folks would never say ugly things to someone’s face, but now, we have upcoming generations that don’t practice empathy or compassion. The basic skills we need to move through the world. We must ask ourselves is this the future we want and what are we going to do about it?
I’ve noticed so much advertising around female depression like it’s a fun seasonal issue -- it’s so absurd and unsettling
Freya India jawing with Jessica Bennett makes for a SUBLIME interview!
The internet is the perfect example of the vice/virtue phenomenon in which an object's biggest virtue is also its biggest vice. The internet provided a space where anyone could talk about their experience as a human being, good or bad (virtue). However, this allowed mass amounts of people to talk about their very real hardships in a space where absolutely anyone could read them (vice). Take a population of people (adolescent teen girls) who are prone to: depressive symptoms, rumination, and an urge to assimilate and you have the perfect recipe to create a generation of young women who have influenced one another towards the most painful of human impulses.
Terrific article on young girls. I forwarded to two friends who have girls (teen and younger) and to a friend who is a therapist.
This hit me right in the feels. I wrote my own book about "girlhood" as I experienced it in 2021 and it made me so sad at the time. I felt like I understood myself better after, having relived my own story with 30-year-old eyes. I got to see the fear and anxiety and tendency to be so negative as it was being stoked inside of me. I found myself grateful to be a woman raising sons in this world, because the adolescence of a women in this world is so frightening.
All of this to say, I think this rise in the celebration of girlhood is a way to (re)define our pasts. (Our being adult women.) To take our daughters to see Taylor Swift in concert is a way to fulfill an ache within ourselves we don't want our daughters to have. It is a way to have the girlhood we wanted, of sparkles, and women idols, and self-confidence, to counteract watching Bridget Jones with our own mothers, who were always on a diet, and being told the woman we were seeing was "fat" or less than. I remember wondering why my mom had Kate Moss's quote, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels," and not understanding why we were served chicken pot pie and roasts at every meal for my dad and brother when we just wanted a salad or a flat bread. I feel as though girl dinners are a way to indulge in what we want to eat, without needing to impress men.
I am on a tangent now, but thank you for writing this piece. It has provided me with a lot of food for thought.
💯. The dawn of social media and being a “brand” instead of being a human being and having meaningful face-to-face interactions with other humans absolutely contributes to what girls are struggling with today. It’s a construct, breaking girls spirits out of the gate, setting them up to fail. And for what? Greed. I am so grateful to be a Gen-X-er that had a childhood with no cell phones and no social media, skinned knees and all. It was glorious and taught me to be resourceful and kind because you had to interact with others in-person. Social media has created an environment to shiv someone in an instant without consequences. Most folks would never say ugly things to someone’s face, but now, we have upcoming generations that don’t practice empathy or compassion. The basic skills we need to move through the world. We must ask ourselves is this the future we want and what are we going to do about it?
I feel so bad for girls growing up today.